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An Old Dog Barks One Too Many Times****************************************************** "Rashness succeeds often, still more often fails." - Napoleon ****************************************************** I was in New York the other day going to a meeting with some clients and business associates when I saw yet another reminder of people that just don't get it when it comes to physical violence. I had just finished a seminar that weekend for about 60 clients and I always end the seminar with the reminder to avoid unnecessary violence whenever you're given a choice. So here I am strolling by a Starbucks on 5th Ave and 35th Street and what do I see but 2 men in a violent verbal exchange. Both were large guys but the younger one was larger and at this point MUCH more verbally aggressive. It was very clear the older guy had OVERPLAYED his hand. You could see the fear in his eyes and posture though he attempted to maintain some semblance of bravado in his position. But it's kinda hard to look tough when he's braced up against the wall of Starbucks receiving the spray of spittle from the invectives this younger guy was hurling at him -- just inches away from his face. >From what I could tell there was some type of encounter that had occurred and the older guy decided to push the envelope verbally or possibly with light physical contact --- BIG MISTAKE! Neither side really wanted to fight but the younger guy was incensed and had no fear in dressing down this older man. It was pretty pathetic... the old guy was scared and humiliated. He was then dealt the final insult of "You're nothing but a scared old man, aren't you, AREN'T YOU?!!!" He was forced to give a slight nod and then the younger guy backed off with a derisive laugh and let him slink away with the bowed shoulders of a defeated man. The point that hit me was both could have benefited from the seminar I just gave. There they would have first learned all the social events that we allow to escalate due to ego. Maybe the older guy wouldn't have pushed the issue that ended up humiliating him. He would have realized if he's not willing to hurt the other guy over the issue then violence is NOT an option. Verbal violence is just playing Russian roulette and this time the old guy got the 'bullet'. I'm sure he had gotten away with 'tough guy' comments for quite some time but had definitely picked the wrong person in this case. Now he has to deal with the emotion toll of being humiliated and publicly ridiculed. On the other hand, the younger guy would have learned that someone TRAINED to use violence could easily have nullified his advantages of strength, speed, and skill. As I observed the scene I was amused at all the options BOTH guys had to END the confrontation IMMEDIATELY. Someone just had to WANT to hurt the other guy. Any of my new students could have pointed out numerous targets to inflict serious trauma on the other guy -- REGARDLESS of which role I put them in. But the greatest take away from these types of situations for my clients is knowing that... YOU DON'T HAVE TO PARTCIPATE! Both of these knuckleheads CHOSE to have this exchange. Knowing how to use violence as a survival tool gives you the ability to live a much more peaceful, relaxed life. I hope by now that you, as a reader of this newsletter, always remain an OBSERVER of avoidable violence -- never a PARTICIPANT. Until next time, Tim Larkin PS. My 'Nuclear' Weapons video series clearly defines |